sexy grandmas

Your Grandma is a Slut

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Ok, maybe not your Grandma, because maybe your MeMaw is a sweet lady who makes cookies and shit but, the Grandmas my age are starting to act like thots. It’s a mini-epidemic in my hometown right now.

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These days, in some parts of the world, grannies and nanas are way younger than they used to be. I have two friends who were grandmas by the age of thirty.

43% became grandparents in their fifties, 37% in their forties, with the average age of grandparents in this country at 48.
By 2010, more than 50% of the grandparent population will be baby boomers — by 2015, it will increase to nearly 60%. – Statistics provided by Grandparents.com

Yes, it’s possible. If you were to get pregnant at age 13 or 14 and your child also becomes a teen parent, then you can become a granny at 29 or younger. I was 23 when my first child was born so, I couldn’t imagine progressing to Grandma status by 29 or 30 but, it does happen quite often.

When this pattern is repeated with each generation, people have the potential to become grandparents at a younger and younger age. In these cases, there’s a chance that a kid would be able to grab a beer with grandpa and the two could look close to the same age! Visit Therichest.com to Read More

I have just entered the realm of my forties. The magical time in a woman’s life where the changes begin. You stop being fertile and all of the sudden your loins are on fire and need to be quenched. At least that is what it seems like from watching my friend’s who are either New Grannies or are over 40.

This is when we worry most about getting older, and start questioning everything in our life. At this age we’re close enough to our 20s to remember what we looked like then and to keep comparing the way we look now; we’re likely to have a young family so we’re often tired, bored, or resentful. – Read more: @DailyMail
@MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

 

Out of 12 female friends that I closely associate with, 5 of them are Grandmas and two of them are participating in raising the Grandchildren while the parents live with them. Of those 5 grannies, 3 are single women.

In my recent experience, single grannies under 50 are crazy people. They suddenly feel old and unattractive and have an overwhelming need to bed down any attractive male within driving or flying distance. I kid you not, one of my girlfriends recently flew from Arizona to Texas to screw her ex when she heard he had split from his wife of 30 years. The guy got back together with his wife right afterward and now the two women are great frenemies. Times are tough in the over thirty dating market, especially for a grandma.

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Another of my close friends recently took a 20-year-old man home with her because her fiancee dumped her and the beer told her to. When she woke up the next morning she found him, her 20-year-old son and her 2-year-old granddaughter eating Froot Loops and watching cartoons together like buds. Needless to say she was embarrassed that her wild tryst was found out. Like Stella, she got her groove back but afterward she felt a little like a pervert and also bit vindicated. She knew she still had “it”.

 

Another of my friends is a widow at the age of 43. She has had at least 43 sexting partners since becoming widowed. She is a paid member of several dating sites and profile matching apps. She and a female friend recently teamed up on porn hub to attract more dates. Now, she has taken a second job as a chat cam girl, not because she needs the money but, because she craves the attention.

 

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Beautiful Sad Woman

 

These women are lonely and really pretty desperate. Not desperate for the company of a man per se but the desperate struggle to hold on to the last shred of their youth is apparent and understandable. Especially since all of the dating advice tells women to remain feminine, stay loyal, keep up your appearance and be subservient.  You must catch a man and snare him then you must keep him baited and chained to you for eternity like a reverse Jabba the Hutt and Princess Leia Scenario.

If you master the art of being feminine, you will always have a man that eats out of the palm of your hand. You will have a healthy, passionate and highly sexual relationship that knows no time or bounds. You will have the passion back, the red hot sex life, and the happily ever after love you always dreamed you would.- Read More at Committment Connection

So, what is a woman over thirty to do when her friends have all turned into pervy little horny cougars or gone into early celibacy and cat rearing?  No, really, what am I supposed to do with these women? I want to maintain our friendships but, I can’t hang with them on Friday nights at the bar trolling for a man that doesn’t look like a troll.

I tried online dating once, to see what it was like to be “out there” on the dating scene and to see what all of the fuss was about. After the fifth dick pic and one bad date that lasted less than an hour, I gave up. I have a few friends who are totally into the whole lifestyle of online dating, some are even secret swingers.

I watch them trade POF profiles like they are Pokemon cards. They say things like “Here this one has a boat and two kids but he isn’t divorced, we slept together once last year but he got back with his wife for a while, you take him, he has a pretty big dick and he buys dinner.” and “He is fat and bald but no kids and no ex-wife drama. He seems pretty normal too. I might let him buy me drinks and see what happens.”

I know many women over 40 who are unmarried. Some of them are happy and satisfied, others would like to be in a long-term relationship, still others are desperate and unhealthy in their approach to relationships. The point is, women who are 40 and over come in many stripes and types. huffington post

I am on the sidelines watching all of this and becoming increasingly grateful for the boring, dysfunctional non-relationship that I have with my suicidal ex-boyfriend. It sure beats dating at this age.

Do you have any tips or advice for young grannies and women looking to snag a stable man before their love juices all run-out?

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